my mum,bro & sis went out to science centre today & had not yet returned[hoho!how fun.lolss XD] i wish they come back soon because i'm ultra hungry[if there's such a word for 'ultra' & 'hungry'].wait a minute,i shall look into the kitchen... ... ...yay!!i found spicy macaroni!my mum didnt left me starving after all.

it's been a few days that i went online & decided "hey!i want to update my blog." too much thoughts running but when i finally logged in & ----stared at the screen.like "oh nvm.i shall share my days with other ppl another day" though my days weren't that great or awesome that i needed or give a damn to share with.

ya.today,is me,fizza & shana's first working day as officials for the shopping sprint competition.firstly,the funny thing was we're outside The Browhaus.i was looking through the menu for a brazilian wax,thinking of anis,maybe could check the price out for her.when we're outside Guess.& i made a bad joke about waxing this 'dude's' leg hair. T.T" okay...it's just A JOKE.but though it still sounds very bad since the dude is our colleague.no no!i got nothing against him.it's because The Browhaus offers waxing & the first thing i saw when i turned around was his legs.then they laughed.& fizza said if there's enough chest hair,can rip an "I LOVE YOU" on it.we broke into guffaws.then i was quickly mumbling about this funniest home videos i watch on tv.this guy proposed to his gf by shaving his hairs on his back into "MARRY ME?" & the girl broke into happy tears.but then fizza said the first thing,if ever a guy did that to her,her reaction would be "EWW!wtf?so hairy!" i crouched laughing.bcz i realised that her laugh makes it all more funnier[i got certain reactions to different types of laughter.& plus it's not just the current joke that's running through my sick head but also my imagination.private joke.nevermind...shall drop this topic.people will think im nuts.so move on to the next topic.

we heard a slam & turned to see a woman FLAT on the floor with both her shoes a few steps back away.we dont know how she fall but to be sure,she looks like she wants to be superwoman since her hands are spread out[maybe because she tried to save herself ,but fails...] sighs.her husband pulled her up.and god!...u must see how pissed her face was!she's like falling tiger[thus] flaming dragon.u know...that kind of face when u could not/would not dare laugh straightaway when u look at her fall.she must be yelling at her husband & pulling his ears when they come back home.nevermind.shall drop this topic too.move on to the next crazy thing.

i was drinking coke when i heard a joke.inspite trying to control my laughter,i failed.so the coke went up my windpipe & through my nose.fuck.it's painful okay!but was super funny.i could see the coke burst out of my nose like a water pipe.& cant help laughing so the rest of the coke went out of my mouth.gruesome sight.i wish no one sees it.ever.but shana & fizza did see it.lol.eh eh.free freak show.not spaghetti or baby snake that comes out from your mouth to your nose,but coke.lol.gross.

dont ever go to La Senza at Suntec City because the salesgirls there are all malay.& they dont know how to speak proper english.& results to malay minah speaking.i got to admit that i laughed at them when the girl exclaimed "eh!we win ehh?we win?" win kepale otak ah..loll T.T"
it's the contestant that will win if they finish the race,not you...sighs.she was struggling to pronounce "The Great Shopping Sprint" like "ape tu?the...great shopping 'print?sprint?sprrintt?" sighs...

okay.maybe by reading this entry,u'll see other sides of what's going through my head.but anyway.forget about my dumb day.i got myself a black dress last week.bracelet today.i want the thing.the thing that costs 55bucks at atsuki.& also this black leatherish bag.i counted that i could get over 100bucks by the end of the month with the next month's pay tee hee..all this 7 paragraphs are a waste of time reading.better buzz off.

edited:imoffbuyingsodapopsinkwik-e-mart

i love stray cats & puddles of water.

i was super happy too.go go ga ga over the furnitures.but ended up on an art shopping trip.[damn i want those neon color paints they had] so i bought that large paper roll & a hard cover purple sketchbook.[i want the red one too] & for a WHOLE roll of paper,it costs only $7.90.while for the hardcover bind sketchbook,it's only $5.90--compared to the Dalwer Rowney tt costs 10bucks+++...--

\\\

buzzed off

Sunday, May 25, 2008 @ 11:06 PM

that's Axel.the only nice little boy tt i helped on saturday.
he love skeletons & i love it too.
anw,it's mask making.im nt suppose to be in yash & suv's station
XD but since i was sitting at their booth in boredom;doing my own--
haha!--my circus mask when i scared Axel & his little brother off.
thought they nvr come back bt they did.& axel sat sandwiched in between me & diana.
he followed the painting on his arm -.-"
i dont know why the right eye looks funny.
looks like my eyeliner.loll

i guide a girl today for wire sculpture.

bored.bored.bored.

& went with faeezah when approached by this old man.

well..i got a double thought that he would be a fraud...

but i dismissed that thought & felt pure sympathy for him.

so me & faeezah helped him.

i feel much better knowing his better off with our help.

i dont care if he is ever a fraud[which really.i dont think so]

i told my mum about him.& as usual my mum warned not to be too light hearted by this ppl.

i just kept quite about it.really.

i helped him asking for nothing in return. :)

i dont mind at all...

okay the next few pictures is more dumb.

we celebrated farhana's bthday at arab street.

& we so we try... ><

they said i look like a total drug addict in the picture -.-"

happy 3rd month (:

buzzed off

Friday, May 23, 2008 @ 5:58 PM

this mortal coil.

buzzed off

Wednesday, May 21, 2008 @ 2:32 PM

yesterday was the 'briefing'.stupid idiotic briefing.we're suppose to set up the place where we have to teach ourselves -.-" lol.i would not say im looking forward to guide kids.darn :( will i be okay with kids?sighs.i hate it that i have to go through this...this...teaching career so early.i dont know how to react or something.teaching my brother & other people is totally a different thing.& more worse.if it's kids.though i cant wait to help Ms Ng to help around.than again.next year MOE is having a collaboration with this sec sch to have an art camp. groans*

on the bright side,AJ told me that on our second year,we get to chose other subject unrelated to art studies like Fashion,Theatre or music.wooohhh!!!im totally taking theatre.though i want music for piano.i dont know how to play it yet for nuts.so.yea.i shall be in a theatre & do mutilation art.lol.body art?video art?that sounds cool.or maybe i shall be the girl in this french movie i cant remember.in which the theatre is filled with chairs.& she will run around,knocking up all the chairs with emotions written all over her face.anguish.sadness.her body twisted here & there.her hair flew her hands flail.behind her,a guy will come & put back the chairs she knocked off back in order.she dropped down in a heap.but the guy picked her up...

..i dont know what they meant.but all i know it's pretty.it touched me somehow, though i dont know how, that it makes me frowning and thinking,why i feel so close to that scene.theatre so be it.

my intention of clearing up my room last week was an utter failure.i only got the inspration on the first day to clean up my first 2 drawers.the rest of the week pass by in a fog.so today.after consistent nagging,i cleaned up my upper drawer & my clutter on the table.when i came across all the books,i used to call diaries.& one that was of me & radhiah from 5 years ago...

when i read it,i realised how infantile i am with my words & thoughts.no wonder i could not held on to her.no wonder she was lost from my grip.she's never happy and i dont know how to help her last time.how i hate the way i write back then in sec 1.the senseless words of "friends 4eva" written all over.but is it really is?..

sighs.

happy 18th birthday farhana :) u know that i always want to see your smile & would go to any lengths for it.hehe.date on sunday with uma.

(from didi's blog,i did the quiz XD )

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

buzzed off

Friday, May 16, 2008 @ 2:43 PM

updates:
watched Ironman with aj & hud.
watched Hottie & Nottie in the morning.read but dozed off a couple of times.watched The Craft back in the late afternoon.went out to eat at changi.
read 4 of didi's doraemon comic books XD & now...srsly had nothing better to do.didnt switched on my hp early to see 5 sms.sorry anis...i think i should watch Chucky or Dracula or horror show or gore show later...just to feel some upbeat in my current life. -.-"

buzzed off

Wednesday, May 14, 2008 @ 11:38 AM

idiotic picture of me tt i put out from here XD

sighs...
this holiday is something i really wish with all my heart to end tomorrow.
because of this holiday,i feel like i've got nothing to do.
that leads to boredom.that leads to feeling moody.
that leads to cocoon-ing myself.in isolation.
that makes me not keeping in touch with the people i want to keep in touch.
that makes me far far away in this vast galaxy.
im...struggling to say this.to pour out this jug that's so full.
i cant keep it balance.water is spilling out.but i wonder.have u ever listen to jolene?
do u know that somehow im in her situation?im such a selfish girl that i so hate myself for it.
but it's when u didnt realise that the ultra sensitive freak is dying.
[what word is that to desribe :O ] :S it makes me wonder if i ever got into your path.
when ur're still holding on.am i just some cat that scrampered on your path...
to mislead you away?....but only for a moment?..
or am i just paranoid?am i just feeling so silly & insecure?...that im so afraid to lose you?
that my old phobia seems to be creeping back to me?...
why am i feeling this way?am i to blame?is it all in my head?i think i am to blame.
like what on earth am i talking?or thinking?
i saw my shadow in the deep water.i stand on that bridge and i love the wind running through my curls.i looked up to see a half moon shining.along with her 8 stars companion.but somewhere in that dark sky,i see your face.it reflects on the calm water by the light of the moon.
see the shine in my eyes.as i create images of you in me...

buzzed off

Tuesday, May 13, 2008 @ 8:14 PM

hols are here."woo" for the moment.
but later i will feel like just tying a rope around my neck & hung myself on the ceiling.

the first week:
i shall clean up my MESSY room!
shall paste up my drawings that i like on my wall.
[cover all my red wall up XD]
or maybe paint my room...
like add some drawings on the wall.
watch movies online & out.

Vampire Lestat.Nostradamus.Sweep.2000 years of space travel.The Exorcist.Violin.Othello.King Lear.Wuthering Heights.Doraemonsss.

Angel Sanctuary.Dracula.more Draculas.Vampire.Vampire Diary.Interview.QOTD.The Craft.Chucky chuckles.Hottie nottie.

so by the end...i finally catch up with stuffs.
& so finally i shall 1)SEW SHANA's LEGGINGS!
2) arrange my very very very very very messy music folders in my lappie.

I WANT WIRELESS!C'MON!DAMMIT!

Romance
who loves to nod and sing,
With drowsy head and folded wing,
Among the green leaves as they shake
Far down within some shadowy lake,
To me a painted paroquet
Hath been--a most familiar bird--
Taught me my alphabet to say--
To lisp my very earliest word
While in the wild wood I did lie,
A child--with a most knowing eye.
Of late, eternal Condor years
So shake the very Heaven on high
With tumult as they thunder by,
I have no time for idle cares
Though gazing on the unquiet sky.
And when an hour with calmer wings
Its down upon my spirit flings--
That little time with lyre and rhyme
To while away--forbidden things!
My heart would feel to be a crime
Unless it trembled with the strings.

lol..
i feel so embaressed to put my 'end probduct' of my editing skills.
but yea..there goes.fucking fugly.

did john's perspective for the whole day today.
tmr gonna do my portrait with the super white face,
cat's eyes,on a bed of posies for Uncle Tan.
he's perspective?shit.shall do it on monday than...
i have to mount my stuff tmr.
do a little more LIT documentation & bind them
im running out of time.running out of time.running for miles.when will i stop?i hate running.despised it.
T.T"

did perspective drawing & bcz i love the building im drawing,
i do have fun.i realised tt i like coloring it light & smooth.
but i always heard john saying somehow in my head
"eh!shade darker!i want darker!"
arggghhh!i want to pull clumps of hair out of my scalp.
monday i shall print out sypnosis & do tan's last minute perspective.

looking at that one photo makes me wonder,if u ever thought of me.
but by than,it's too late.i've left the room switching off the lights.
before that,was another room too.

i hate myself for saying the wrong things when im with you
but than,it's the mistake tt makes me realise that this will be everlasting.


if i were to live in the previous era as an aristocrat,this is how i'll be like...living a dumb rich ass life getting my potrait painted.wasting life.& you.whoever seeing this,are also wasting your time.




uma & jeanne







i used to ask myself.well,about a lot of things.
i even asked God.but he never gave me the answers directly.
Oh he,the Intelligent.i guess..i dont need answers to all my questions now.
maybe it doesnt need answers.
maybe when the light of the candle is out,the answer would come.
but by then,i'd feel so peaceful.
like Raud...

maybe this is lame,but me & miri always talked about politics in our mails
among so many other stuffs.
& im sure she feel the same as i do...
just a moment ago i saw the news of the heavy rain tt hit Myanmar.
it killed 3000 ppl already.
the rain cause a lack of food stock,mainly rice.
sighs..how can i be here hoping for rain to come,
when it's costing life for rain [i so badly wanted] over there??..

kenneth said that he got seizures & was hospitalised.
i always got the mental image of him getting a seizure in the middle of some computer game,
or when he was walking into a gadget store when he said that.
he shrugged & said its nothing as if he had been used to it when i opened my mouth to say something that nvr did came out since i cant put my thoughts into words.
[oh maybe he did o.o ] he said his left brain is not working.
so he's using only the right.
after he underwent brain operation
it really sort of hit me hard when he said
"i could get a degree using just one brain,so you guys could do better"
i am excited for him to teach us photography next semester
WOOH!

so could i?
me,with a pair of brains...

something random: I LOVE WATCHING BRAINIAC

the conversation i had in the afternoon is something that i want to forget...
im so sorry.

i just...moved on.

*my head hurts dammit*

presenting Diana's & Emily's cartoon XD

i've just done like...70% of my 'dumb'[i said the word dumb so many times for this] ying yang.
i've started only 2 pages of the dumb documentation.
editing photos of my dumb wires & sculpture.
tmr got to start on it again & do kenneth's dumb sketchbook.
on the day of the assessment,i wish i could throw all my work at all my lecturers.
"NAHH!YOU WANT IT,YOU HAVE IT SUCKERS!"
well,nope.it wont work for my grades XD

Es hat mich so tief erreicht, wo niemand je mich vor erreicht hatte. für Sie sind mein Licht. mein Ritter. für die jungen Liebhaberrisse fällt auf dem Bett der Blumen. die Dornen werden sein stumpf. die Rosen werden erblühen.

For thy promise b ewailed
by her raveneyes
by her beauty and a scarlet sunrise
May thy river bury her silver tears
A fallen angel... enshrined in moonlit seas

Leaving vitality
so serene breeds my darkness
Entreating winterwinds
though I leave... I embrace thee

Winternight
conceal thy precious angellore
I secrete my soul
under thy wings of sorrow
Dark I embrace thy eyes
wander lost on life's narrow path
I reveal my heart
to this beauty dressed in dark

Grieving raveneyes
falls asleep with the sunrise
Delightful midsummer breeze
though I leave... I await thee

Grant me thy last midsummer breeze
May thou ascend from endless sleep
... my desire
Dance me above thy moonli seas
Glance yearningly into the deep
a cold and weary night

Widwinternight
Descending me like flakes of snow
I embrace the cold
for a life that morrows
Dark I embrace thy heart
Wanderer lost beyond veils of dawn
I conceal thy loss
enthralled in life yett still I mourn
My lost Lenore...

(imagine me doing that whispery & the growling voice XD)
*ignore the voice if you dont like or whatever.love the tune!*

been playing with photoshop,movie maker,dwlding tonnes of songs,watching online movies when i have the time...

i've been not feeling my best lately.
mentally & physically.
i need to finish
1)do LIT
2)do LIT documentation
3)do DP sketchbook
4)binding DP project
5)do perspective drawing
6)buy 2 A1 & 8 A2 mounting board
7)do rose window
8)do self potrait
9)do tan's perspective drawing
10)mount all work on mounting board
11)print out artist statement for presentation

fuckkkkkk.

"fucking kickapoo"