for today i had disappeared from this world.i really,practically disappeared.i wish not to come back.really :( sighs...i have too.then throughout my disappearing from the world,the album above was playing repeatedly.again and again.i wonder how to get someone inside your head.wouldnt it be easier?

i love Parched Art

Once upon I pondered,about a forgotten lore,with a thread upon my head
towards the stars,high above i sat,were there are new scars,
as two stars crosses each other's path;a meteor wrath.
The pain is gone as the soul is,
that it is and nothing more.

And the candle burning the last wax,the wood burning the last ember,
My head lolled into a dream,that I tightly grasp to remember,
The phantom of a deadly ghost, a ghost named Sorrow
For he is what the angels calls him,Soul Of The Morrow
Sorrowful forevermore

for suddenly i heard a rapping,a rapping on my windowsill
i heard something rapping,though i'm not sure i heard it tapping,
It was a strange visitor,a strange visitor at my windowsill.
I have a strange visitor,on this midnight winter,the tapping repeating
as it calls for me,
ah,evermore.


***continuing***
i'm writing my own version of The Raven XD lolss


weston weston weston.
i need to raise 5000bucks for a trip to Paris.i want a trip to Paris.what i was thinking was that i feel like having a proposal to Mr Bihn,for him to talk to the authority to sponsor us a little for the trip.i forgot to ask John when is the trip.hopefully its after hols,so i can work and earn more money for expenditure there..sell away stuff???sighs...i.need.to.escape.now.
i end up watching Vampire Knight Guilty and half of Terminator S2 Ep6,when it failed to load further.only painted one side of my canvas panel... T.T"




beckon and rise from my sleep of 9 and a half hours,i feel a little fresher.for me, i need a lot of sleep,and for the past whole week,i've been sleeping around midnight to 3 am consequently.trying to match up with elites so as to earn myself some love for my being.sketchbooks,4page brochure,2 canvas and 3 other paintings to finish up,photography of 1 A3 fine print and 3 negatives to hand in ,3000words essay and presentation,and model to finish in less than 3 weeks.

make the day be more than 24 hours please.sorry i cant spend so much time with you anymore tt you had seen my workload..u have your workload too...

sighs...the raven had really been deep inside of me for the past few days that i feel safer and not having funny thoughts.but this creeping feeling of guilt,that i'm playing with fire,i shall swallow it all like the raven had swallowed it for my sake;for it's a secret not to be let out in any case of unfortunate events.

hmm...i am plunging down with the economy for i cant control myself in indulging with daily treats and people all around me is squeezing every cent per dollar to save for a rainy day-well,it is drenching like crazy now- i love it..but sighs...it reminds me of my wish to live alone in an apartment with transparent glass roof and windows at Gotham City where i can see the city's overview and streetlights below me. that is an escape from social bitterness i'm experiencing now;and what had other ppl is experiencing though maybe their wish is to escape to hawaii for a beach and sunshine affair.... ....which i have no interest about...nt that i shun the beach and sunshine,but that i'm not in the mood for it.

i talk weird today.bye.






let me start...




well,i was looking at the round white glowing globe into nothingness and i wish i could fade away in it...like -bluup- i'll get suck into an infinite time where it brings me back 3 yrs ago when you feel suicidal and talking about heavy stuff.it's all squeezed in a little book.that magickal book for the Faint & Melancholy Hearts.the empty vitagen bottle sits besides my laptop lazily with some ants all over it...it's a breeding ground for ants here in my room
there's a snail the size of my palm which i almost squashed in the playground.which leads me to thinking how smart it is for the snail who doesnt need a house key because it carries it's house with it.

what happens when u got no house key?sit at your playground with a survival book of How To Survive Being Stuck For Dummies.
First rule:sit at the basketball court to watch people sweating their hearts out with a Pretz in your hand to munch.
second rule:as it reaches 9pm and the basketball court is empty,u can lay down on the bench.you will think that you are in bed when the lights switched off to find that the court is in total darkness.hear me:DON'T PANIC!CALL SOMEONE.S.O.S
third rule:make sure you have a bottle if ur're a dood to pee in.for girls,well,uhh..too bad for me.
and there the googoogaagaa goes on till 10+pm when i could finally burst into the bathroom.right there in the bathroon,i was praising god.

mr bihn is the sweetest for troubling himself to give me my thumbdrive back..though he wrongly thought tt meatballs gave me those roses.i dont know what is it ystd,i cant help but feel miffed.sighs..

i got a painting to do for a bthdae present in like 6hrs time.and i cant find my old canvas panel.guess i'm going to paint the painting i did 2 nights ago white,and re-do a new one for this.




that always happens in my notes in boring fucked up lectures.anis and all burst out laughing when they look at it.esp anis.the fishball on sticks are hers.lol.i got no mood to talk to anyone now.except edward,and it's nice...

hmm...i dont know why i am so upset[actually i do for some,but some i'm so confused about why i am so upset about].estranged feeling that never go away.i got nothing more to say.i couldnt say anymore



i dont even know if i can ever be truly happy.i wish i coud fall back like i used too;that's how i am.i want to like one day...hope on into a ship.one that travels to nowhere...nowhere on earth.because the waves will take my ship high up onto a place called "A great country in the air" with Lucian.passing the Pillars Of Hercules and into the Atlantic.When i'm on the Great Country In The Air,i shall ride on Saladbird Rides;huge birds with vegetables for feather and enormous lettuce as wings,Flea Archers;which is really just normal fleas,only 12 times the size of elephants...they would fly in very high speed towards an island so bright over the horizon.the flapping of their wings is roaring in my ears[a whirring kind of sound for the fleas and havy thuds of flapping from the bird],but i love it.the feeling of freedom,i can smell it on the strange new land as we get ashore...me & Lucian.

beautiful things had given me nothing but so much pain,so i shall not look at beauty for now..but beauty lets you have anything you want?

**on a lighter note: i just dipped my elbow into my soup since i ate infrnt of Edward just now.i'm suppose to put my bowl into the sink but yea.dipped my elbow into the leftover soup.i miss Edward the Laptop sooooooo much!hehee!doing hist ppt through msn.and i got a sharp pain just below my ribcage,in the middle.i'm holding in this pain.fuckkk the ppt presentation.fuck it all.





hey i promise myself nt to go on9 bt i bathed and when i reach home,the door was locked.i swear i saw my parents room light switched on and also the kitchen lights.i just go into my room,pull the earpiece out of my ears,put down my bag,grab my towel n go into the kitchen toilet.the surreal part was tt the kitchen light was on, or is it?its so strange,bt even by discovering this,i just go into the bathroom..nw tt i finished,and as i go out of the bathroom,my parents room light was off,everywhere is pitch black inside..and now.now tt i am in my room and trying to put evertything to senses...like what was tt?is it a dream?wdh is wrong with my brain?sighs...im off nw.gotta do work.tired of typing in this phone..


:) ...... ........ ........... .......... ... . . .. ... ...... . . . ... ...

haha

i'm a lonely wheat grass in a field of grass and i'm so so stuck with the song on top.



fuck it all.



how can i say about yesterday?woke up bright and early though a little groggy.i think i woke up in the wrong side of the bed.the face that lit up my morning;is late for school causing mindless anxiety chattering that i just have to look and be amused[yeap,to look and be amused bcz as i said,i'm still quite groggy] amused enough in the morning,i switched on the screen.damn.i got 36 emails and i cant even open up or delete.something's wrong with my email.is it just me??damn.i didnt see the email from the mysterious person regarding about the spree.so so fucked up till my stomach churned--***need the toiletz***--

did you know that at PS,they're renovating half the top floor,and there's some new action figurines and comics store???AND THE DISPLAY DOLL IS A FULL FLEDGED LIFE SIZE TERMINATOR FIGURINE!!gahhh..my head almost explode infrnt of the shop.it's closed.

ohohoh!see that?lols.yea.whatever.i hope it comes alive and put PS into crumbles so they can build a new PS since i'm so sick of the place.lols.then i'll jump on it and take out the microchip out of it's head.If ever this came true,i shall be a hacker,The Computer Genius,so i could use the microchip to make Summer <3

and so i played the arcade alone,Time Crisis 4.and i hit my personal score.

hey,that's a cupcake!did i tell you that i dwld back limewire?weeee~ copyright infridgement put in the freezer;let it be inactive.i need knew song.i need it so badly.

only i can.anw,tmr is photog class.it's so cool that we're using the view camera.what shall i bring for still life?either i'll bring my 2 years old dried up rose or maybe a cabbage.sighs..i could hear kenneth words ring-a-ding in my ears.argh!i wish i got my room for myself so i can turn it into my own sweet darkroom.the store is filled with my parent's trash.i just got my mind blown away again and again.