Lenore The Night-mare Life-in-Death
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Thursday, July 31, 2008 @ 9:17 PM omfg.today is so fucking crazy. gahh..i think i've reached my boiling point a few minutes ago. like i said..i'm God's biggest joke.
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 Wednesday, July 30, 2008 @ 9:00 PM
i'm staring at the screen--why?
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008 @ 3:33 PM       OSC-The Sleeper- ouch.my cheeks.pain.laugh.too.much.
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Sunday, July 27, 2008 @ 9:59 AM hey...my uncle just passed away a few minutes ago. my aunt called the ambulance when he coughed till he was unconscious. then in the ambulance,she called again and said he was gone. i dont really know him well..only that he's my cousin's father. and i feel this lump in my throat that could never go away. i feel so so ashamed.so ashamed that in times of blurry anger, i did hope that my parents would just go away.. ..like my uncle.
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Thursday, July 24, 2008 @ 8:37 PM  summary:I SHOULDN'T BE ALIVE. lol. half snake,half eel. it gives me the creeps,as it reel infront of me,will it bite me? my heart,it skipped a beat. it's fight or flight,i took flight. not even thinking,my body light. half snake,half eel... *that's what u get for wondering in bushes* *** if u were given a chance to go in a mountainous area...and allowed to scream/yell/shout/shriek your heart's desire...what will it be? for me is....i want to watch X-FILES!screams well,that's defintely is not Mulder or Scully's or some alien girl. ignore the rest.i just cant help looking at all this clothes.sighs.
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008 @ 7:46 PM today the lrt door closes in my face before i could get through it and i know it's a bad omen. endless say. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today. i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
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Sunday, July 20, 2008 @ 1:48 PM  Forgotten Have you forgotten All this beauty around you All your worries Could easily fade behind you Who is pulling you back With such strength? I hear you calling Your voice is bright You hear me calling back After fighting You're always right You're always right And I tried Who is pulling me back With such strength? I hear you calling
enlarge it.u'll see my ketibas[ketiak-basah]
trap door
gate lift
time capsule of the year 3000
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Saturday, July 19, 2008 @ 7:33 AM  *images that invoke.invoke a being.how delicious.god...deliciously bloody.delicious images.something woke up the horror* it's 7.30 now.but i woke up at 6.30...i feel to crappy to sleep back. and guess what??i receive Miriam's package.and inside it is an Eisregen CD. holy omg crap!fuck,love it!wooh wooh wooh! tt's for now..wanna watch their DVD.i guess i cant watch it infrnt of my parents because im sure they'll throw the CD out the window.   *** heads lolled from side to side.neck cracked and face strained.hopefully the window did not crack against my skull[did i hit it in my half consciousness?]i'm a chicken ham.trapped between veggies and tomatoes and wholemeal bread.wow...it's like a combo meal and i love it all.i shall have carefree thoughts about how i am going to be eaten up.debris of sand from the sea seems invisible on my floor;but is,all over.oh did i tell you how i feel so connected to Robert Smith in Just Like Heaven?yes,i was there on the rocks,though what i really want for, is for God to give me a rocky cliff.wind in my fries.curly twirly fries.yahh...i snatch that name when i read it.it's so funny because after that i got a crave for it--till now. *exasperated sighs* i shall wait for sch to re-open. so monday.am i coming late for the first lesson of the first day of the first week???yes.though i wanted to start this semester good and new,i want to fetch my sis fm the airport!!!!gaaahhhh! "ni mak tanye..kakak ok?besok berangkat dari sane what time?what time will u be reaching singapore?enough money?mum say be a beggar if u dont have any money left.haa..no la...she said take out money fm atm if u dont money left." "Sq491,leaving ist @ 1.25pm.reach sin @ 7.30am on 21st July.will u b picking me?duit masih ade.Hari ni last min shopping @ grand bazaar. bnyk nice things.Guys here are good looking too,lol.im packing my bag now.going out again ltr." GAHHHH!!i want to go ISTANBUL!and srsly,she should stay for another 5 days.just FIVE days to Metallica gig in Ist.ARGHH!!!kakak!??why don't you stay?? T.T" i know you got school on tuesday,and got no money left..but it's METALLICA!!!dont you see that you're the biggest goddamn metallica fan here in Singapore??same with Abang??gagagagagagagaa!!i'll go nuts if i were you,kakak. [woww...i got 3 rolls of film to wash.and 2 of them cost 24 bucks.one more is a diff kind...guess the OSC pictures have to wait :'/ cash cash cash...please drop in a suitcase full of it before me and i'll do praying under mountainous waterfall.enduring the cold.for like...5 mins?how about that?it's really long you know[whoever giving me the money],5 mins equals to 300 seconds.a 3 digit!!at Kota Tinggi???since it's the nearest waterfall here..unless you want me to go to the Wild Wild Wet???it's your choice;whoever giving me the money.]
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Friday, July 18, 2008 @ 9:51 PM i hope you could forgive me.i've chipped off my thumb nails; doing it.i've not eaten dinner; doing it.i've not yet go to the toilet; doing it.having a major major headache;doing it.driving me nuts up the walls;doing it.i'm tired organising it;doing it.i'm really feeling pissed and fucked up with a whole load of Clowns.but above all,i hope you could forgive me... why not sell yourself on eBay? i really got to go toilet now.bye bye.
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Thursday, July 17, 2008 @ 9:40 PM  went to the Old Supreme Court tour with my 2 cousins,Munir and Aishah.it's going to become a museum.so this tour is one of the last before they turn it into a museum and restrict the court rooms from the public.it's really awesome because we got to go into the prison cells.some of the cells used to occupy by murderers.of course,they are long gone[hanged] there's nothing but a bench and a little toilet hole.even the flush is outside their cells to limit them from ever hiding objects inside the cell.then we went up the stair and all to the court.oh boy there's a bat flying around our heads.yes.inside the building itself.there's the old kind of gate lifts,but it's not in use anymore.i was praying that we'd visit the hanging place itself.or maybe i could see the electric chair.sadly no.. :/ the place inside is really kind of creepy i would say.i could only dream.dream that it's my mansion.for me to do whatever i want.tt would be the ultimate wordly paradise for me.they even have this memorial inside the building.and underneath this memorial,lies a time capsule.which will only be retrieved in the year 3000.well.i guess by tt time every traces of me,even my bones,will vanish into the earth,bcz from earth i'm born,and to earth i return.but then again...will there be an apocalypsed by then?if earth were to survive,i could imagine;me opening up the time capsule and beaming like it's the greatest birthday gift ever in the world. i bought my Lomo camera.tee hee!cant wait to wash the picture at Parkway Parade[cousin said they wash 20cents for each picture.how cheap is that??:D] used the whole roll of film.bought the film which is tinted green a little.cant wait to see hw it all turn out.the 4 action i mean.i want a Fuji Polaroid and Holga next please.anw,my Lomo only cost 30 bucks.it looks like a kid toy.hey.dont underestimate 'kid's toy'.
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Wednesday, July 16, 2008 @ 7:44 PM  *hello dearest dollycan you see me here?will you come in my dreams???please?i beg you.*[tt's Kyoru's doll ^^ ] how can i say?...hmm... i'm currently feeling that my energy being sucked out by me too much laughter and talking. like i said,it's over my laughing and talking quota for this 2 days. making new friends are really great but it's like the more i made,the more empty i feel.is that strange? maybe bcz im losing some good friend,and i didnt denyit tt i feel really depressed about it,bt i feel happy for her.i am deeply truly happy bcz she got so much loved ones around her.maybe im just could not bring myself to go closer to her anymore.i'm so selfish to care aboutmy feelings and not others.im a faggot. okok.sorry,i'm always gloomy. i feel like nt talking to anyone except in msn or sms-es. jokes will be laughed deep in me and not be seen. i'm tired of talking and laughing already..i really am.
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Monday, July 14, 2008 @ 10:44 AM  Mr Stress Ball squashed into a forced smile.pulled and stretched.clayed and masked.im feeling horrified.horrified that i have typical asian parents.they missed my sister badly.how am i going to run away???!im purely horrified i cant tell you what had happen;it's a mere joke,or is it?;because i feel like running screaming my head off now.you know sometimes when we said something,it's the wrong thing;and you feel like smacking your head on the wall just as you hope by doing that,you or that person would forget the thing that you said. ...the rest will be left hanging like a phantom.   ystd at the zoo. i stuffed Giffy[my bro's fav soft toy Giraffe] into his bag. Giffy is so fat that Giffy's big nose sticks out. He felt Giffy is too heavy to carry.[ridiculous,he's plain annoying and lazy] So i fed Giffy to the crocodile. uhhhh...from left,was trying to catch the waxing moon,but turn out like some haywire shooting star/trying to catch my face but it's blurred while the background is clear/view outside my window on a rainy cool day[my favorite kind of day] /and i didnt know,did AJ took this???i totally forgot/the picture on top is well,blur.i got a thing of shaky hands[HAHA] i should have chg the shutter speed. ew ew ew ew. im so going to fucked up school. *edited* i didnt know if my previous post were mistook/misread.it's actually for Saint.well,whatever.im so screwed tomorrow for the orientation day.why am i in this again??i don't know myself.i was punishing myself for being so introvert so i join myself up.now all i want is to creep back into my hole and not have to wake up at 6 tomorrow morning. (my unholy ranting.dont bother to read on) ou know today morning im depressed that i'm here in Singapore.The government is trying to instill every child here into our culture.our roots.our identity.but what's our real identity??the government is trying to instill passion of Singapore's past.but what have the past got to do with us?how do we connect to the past when every historical building is torn down?every old tree pulled apart.i hate it that im in this DAT course and i have to instill this government garbage to my students.maybe the reason why i'm not proud to raise my flag is bcz of the government system here.it's a flaw.no freedom of speech.true.some groups of ppl will misuse it.bt without it,this place is just so so dull. we're a bunch of monkeys of different species.the young trying to adopt western culture,the old trying to catch up with the young.what the fuck is our culture?!what?malay is a culture?malaysia already have the malay culture and are widely known.even indonesia.how about chinese?china had long started use chopsticks to eat dumplings.what indian?maybe Indian imigrants here do made the own Singapore tulang,that not even Malaysian have;but.other than that,it's the same?what the fuck is our own unique identity?? what are we compared to our neighbors.maybe they're right.we're just an irritating red pimple on the map of Asia. our forefathers are just immigrants searching for a new place to feed their children.no one thought to stay here.till the government was established. so i came to a conclusion.our culture is about "we are immigrants" kristen holst gave me the answer. it will make me satisfy;for a while. http://www.kirstenholst.com/gallery/Travel/index.php?album=Singapore_Black__Whites&PHPSESSID=l7d4s92qrngc3qavsp7pbqf8h3
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Sunday, July 13, 2008 @ 11:39 AM
i got the photos of my film.and when i checked,they didnt print 5 pictures!the one uma,anis and hud/the anis and the unicorn/me and anis.the rest of the pictures turn up like what i think amatuer photographers picture wuld be."blurred and blurred and blurred again" but some turn out goddamn lovely like the picture[i think anis took of me],hmm...and the pictures of the skies that i took.i got 3 new rolls of film and eaten up one at the zoo.
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Saturday, July 12, 2008 @ 11:25 AM  it's morning,and im watching some punks,seeing how fucked up everything is,and lastly,growing up. really really funny. till part 10.on youtube. *edited* the part 6 of the SLC.hope it reach to ten anis!
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Thursday, July 10, 2008 @ 11:59 AM morning horror on youtube.Chainsaw Maid. *sly smile* Eli's dirty joke *** *Hi my name is Chuck,
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Wednesday, July 9, 2008 @ 11:39 PM the book that you guys bought for me...well...it's always on my bed.And when i look at it,i turn to reach it and feel the symbol across the handsome leather.then i brought the book close to my chest. I hear her voice,beat in my head.But what am i going to fill in her empty stomach?my mind is empty too.thank god for the invention of google/wiki/youtube.
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Tuesday, July 8, 2008 @ 9:29 PM  emily's screenshot.i hope AJ and Didi and Gina put up their's XD nyahaha. got to go alligator see ya ltr crocodile! *** it's 11.33 in the morning on 9th July and i'm searching my ancient handphone which might be on the other side of my bed or anywhere since i last msg a person last night,bid goodnight,and throw it to one side,could not give a damn but to let the pillow catch my head... hmmm :/ where is it.. anis just called to ask out.hahahh.she got to call my home since i didnt switch on my hp and i think my dad sort of 'entertained' her.thank god she didnt freaked out by my dad.sorry anis,my dad babble a lot that even my mum cant take it since he got his CPF[since he reached 56] XD lol before that i was getting so exhilirated seeing pictures.make me want to swim in a sea of clothes and gadgets.what am i going to wear later?i'm plugging both psp and handphone to charge on my lappie.my mum warns me gadgets can burst into fire like a bomb if you overused it when i was young.will it?then i want to plug in more things here. i nvr get the chance to say a trillion thanks to everyone for the countless birthday wish and presents and the birthday cake and the birthday card and the birthday surprise!hurrahhh!
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Monday, July 7, 2008 @ 8:54 PM alright.i'm a youtube junkie.so is everyone. found some awesome electronic bands a few weeks ago and some newer one today from the magazine i took. i just got a fetish of black on very neon colors,robots,outer space,and spare parts. well,i shall shut it,and just watch it. Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, melt - upgrade it, charge it, pawn it, zoom it, press it, snap it, work it, quick - erase it, write it, get it, paste it, save it, load it, check it, quick - rewrite it, plug it, play it, burn it, rip it, drag and drop it, zip - unzip it, lock it, fill it, curl it, find it, view it, curl it, jam - unlock it, surf it, scroll it, pose it, click it, cross it, crack it, twitch - update it, name it, read it, tune it, print it, scan it, send it, fax - rename it, touch it, bring it, obey it, watch it, turn it, leave it, stop - format it. Technologic, technologic, technologic, technologic.
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Sunday, July 6, 2008 @ 11:38 PM -chuckles-yeapp..anyone wants to know something amusing?XD just now was on9 and i called anis.she told me that she dreamt of me.[more like a nightmare] she said that she,didi and all were vandalising my sketchbook,then i was super mad at them that i chased them around suntec city.she said she saw me in my creepers and my..uhh..outfit or something--chasing them,and i was running like super fast and they were running their ass off that they have to seperate around the mall trying to escape the wrath of Lenore's madness.[i imagine me as a dog and trying to bite their butts off o.0]hohoho... hayiaaa anisss!!!...if ever one day u guys vandalise my sketchbook,i would be more than happy cz ur vandalismss is a superb form of art. ;P then i shall quickly sign as my work so the lecturers will give me an 'A' rofl. hmm...peach tea is the greatest.and dont ask me what i did this days.because i guess someone knocked me out and i woke up sunday.why am i in a black mood?like everyday?omgg...i lack of social skills.i cant even stand to smile for long.no.it's not that.i just have a very weird sense of humor.yes.i think i horrify people when i burst out laughing out of the sudden.-and i laugh hysterically at the joke and people would just stare at me [uhhhhhh....why is she laughing?] and i would see their confused face trying to make out what's so funny. dearest far and shashah treat me.thanks so so much.though i would love for us to hang out longer;the presence of you guys just shows that you do care for me. :) if u guys put up those funny pictures that we took,you have my outmost permission.just dont allow comments.lol.i dont think i'd put it.because i feel like i always look funny on my birthday and also on hari raya. i bought the cure tee .i bought the cure tee.i bought the cure tee.i bought the cure tee. went to changi beach for the last minute family gathering.cousin never really talk to me.cousin thinks i'm some artist lunatic.cousin thinks im narrow minded.i think cousin is the one not me.i think i could not give a damn what cousin thinks.cousin could not give a damn what i think.i think to lay things off.i'm tired and sick of all this.end of story.bye bye.
Ladies and gentlemen...how do.
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Friday, July 4, 2008 @ 1:17 AM today i'm exhausted PHYSICALLY[because i have the worst workout of my life],Emotionally[humiliated in public]-by asking ppl to honk if we're hot.Fucking Race.the skin on my feet is looking thin.ouch.bastard blisters.hope gina alright... it's not just a celebration for her,but also the three person,that brought her into this world.even if this world had not given her much happiness,she's happy with simple pleasures.she knew that she's a slave to the third but was brought up with care by the first and second.but to only found out in dismay that care brought love and what it did was nothing to leave her heart full;but famished.beneath that soft velvet touch she had laid out diamonds.world pocession had sometimes bored her out. she just could not wait for her desmise.the uncertainty left her breathless. Yet the cup is not full to the brim.so she shall stay,like some ghostly phantom among mortals. the number 3,stands for 3pm in the bible.but it stands for 3 am to me.nadiah reminded me that.lol.it's when i first came out to play 18 years ago exactly from now...my faith never will mislead me. okay i know im nuts.haha!like what im trying to say here is like what--?i'm a some demon baby born in 3am?[253am to be exact] rofll..ok.i feel drunk even went im not.my sister had gone to leave for turkey.hoho.one less ppl to quarrel with,one less person[equals to no ppl] to share my room with.one less ppl in the car seat so i can sprawl how i always like in the car,one less ppl using the bathroom,one less ppl using my printer to print stuffs[rofl],one less ppl in the cinema sit,one less ppl disgusted in sharing stuff with me,one less person...but she'll be back when the day school reopens.by that time,she'll buy me dozens of postcards that i asked her for.more than her friends.and take for me pictures of Hagia Sophia from all angles.1 degree per time for the whole 360 degrees.not to mention the top of the dome and the interior.nope.not until when i didnt help her print the stuff because i was super pissed with my camera. i've failed countless.so by now i had promised no one shall ever see my eyes wet.eww i hate getting my eyes wet because it makes me feel like a total pure loser.anyway,i'm too tired to feel.since the call,i never sit down and cry too.no way.i shall write a note and stick it on the wall because i cant get it out.or i shall blow it into my balloon.blow it everytime and smack it to your face.anyone's that's in my way.let the balloon burst in your face.then you'll feel the chilli powder and onions that i blow inside the balloon and let your eyes tear instead.stress ball squeeze balls squashed. sorry i'm babbling.and anis.if u ever think that this is a poem,eventhough i actually wanted to put it in spaces,it's not.see how a lousy poet i am?;) fuck anak seni!i wanna rape the world! and sorry that i've not replied you guys the sms and birthday wish..i'm on high under the water. rohaishah had told me to chg my tagboard cz she cant tag me 'happy bthday' on it.so i promised to write her name here to say that she did rmb it.lol.and thanks Nad and Genie for acc me this morning!!6 more mins!
Sail on silver wings Through this storm What fortune love may bring Back to my arms again The love of a former golden age. I am disabled by fears concerning which course to take. For, now that wheels are turning, I find my faith deserting me... This night is filled with cries of Dispossesed children in search of Paradise. A sign of unresolve that, Envisioned, drives the pinwheel on-and-on. I am disabled by fears concerning which course to take. When memory bears witness to The innocence, consumed in dying rage! The way lies through our love; There can be no other means to the end, Or keys to my heart... You will never find. You will never find!
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Tuesday, July 1, 2008 @ 8:02 PM  that's my 35mm SLR..and my loveeely new camera.bt,i looks way newer than i that photo[found it in wiki].so here you have it kenneth.the printing papers me and anis hadnot bought it yet.straightaway go funan to eat lunch and go penin to search for the cam.plus our lens,batteries,rens reflex[or is it called that?i'm making a wild guess.it's for protecting the lens from UV rays and scratches],cost us 300bucks altogether.but our's is not 2nd hand.i wonder how much our classmates are buying them for..i love my minolta because it's vinhinhintagee!then we went out of the shop and anis bought a DM.damn fuck it's cool.and plus it looks good on her. ^^  she bought jeans.i tried jeans.the uncle is dumb.finally got one.bought studs for my lacoste too.and some pendent ;P went to put on the studs and the thing poke under my fingernail.and there's like internal bleeding under my nail.yes it hurts ofcourse.but im far from dead. oh yea.before that was under phantom's block to show my drawings and phantom love the drawing the armour guy out of the flames.im glad phantom like it.phantom lend me his sketch book[which is really Sharifah's old unused madrasah exercise book haha!!] i told phantom not to chg clothes[what i meant was 'not to change into outside clothes] so phantom came down in home old old apek shorts T.T" yay!!new dvds to watch.many dvds to watch.im gonna scare myself and shit on my couch watching horror flicks. tata. ystd was great hanging out at mel's house.watched Juno.and her glad is hot. rofl-ing at my cousin's blog.GAGAGAGA. dont u think AJ look great??:D    
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Profile 
im Lenore. in NAF(S)A enjoy your stay in my 0 gravity blog. CURRENT MOON
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are you the damned?i am The Damned.
